The Cookbook Junkies

The duck that was shot and stuck in a refrigerator for two days and lived – flat lined in surgery and is now okay again!

That is one lucky duck….her name is Perky. I think they got some kind of Pet Sematary (yes, that is King’s correct spelling) thing going on down there in God’s waiting room, Florida.

My mom is like that – she has been dying for twenty years now. She is sick, miserable, mean and not a nice person on top of being mentally ill….I keep saying “GO TO THE LIGHT!” I guess we’ll start calling her Perky.

Now Andrew’s new thing is “I want a dry one”. Waffle, pancake, chicken nugget, noodle, mashed potatoes….everything he says needs to be dry? Where does he get this stuff? And worse yet, here I am patting dry a damn chicken nugget and wiping down a french fry. Grammy, Emmy, Golden Globe — there needs to be some award show for this….

And the Silver Diaper award goes to: “Andrew’s Mom for blow drying a spaghetti noodle.”

What a burden.

First our friend, Ankit and then his friend, S (what is that like Prince, Cher, Madonna…the symbol formerly known as Prince?)….now my friend Tina is thinking of blogging. I’ve always been a leader….

My husband and his best friend, Pete, are having multiple orgasms (and they said men couldn’t have them) because Van Halen is reuniting with Roth for a concert tour starting in May. My husband already packed his suitcase. I can’t say I have ever felt that way about any musical artist. I did love Luther Vandross and saw him in St. Louis (Sinbad opened for him). Before his stroke, he came to NY and I begged my husband to go see him with me…but he is just way too Caucasian to enjoy a gay, black male singing love songs…oh boy that man could sing. Now Luther is gone and I will hold that over my husband’s head for the rest of his life.

At the St. Louis concert, I sat in front of a very, very large lady who kept screaming out “drag me across the floor, Luther”…I’m not sure what that would have done for her – but I know it would have put Luther’s back right out or caused a cardiac episode. That concert, Jackson Browne and Paul Simon — my favorites. I guess, I haven’t really seen too many – I’m afraid to admit – I saw Hank Williams Jr. twice when I was younger….Bocephus…loved him too, saw Alabama (may have been the same concert), saw Tonic at a small club in St. Louis and that is probably it. I love music – don’t love annoying people in bad t-shirts standing in front of me, behind me and around me – singing …I didn’t pay $49.50 to hear bad karaoke.