Exhaustion and lasagna

Before my onion dip post I hadn’t written anything but nasty notes to my husband….during all that time – we were dealing with packing up the house in New  York and moving across the country to Colorado.

There was three weeks when Jim was in New York finishing up working and Andrew and I were alone in Colorado.  It was exhausting – not because Andrew is hard to be around – but just what I need to do to talk him into leaving the house is an exercise beyond your wildest dreams.

Andrew started school in mid August and seemingly was doing well and then fell into the rabbit hole.  Suicide talk, angry bouts, depression, sadness, severe anxiety – it was unbearable to watch and unbearable to live through.  His teacher is over the top fantastic and the school is great.

We love our house, our neighbors and neighborhood.  Jim’s job is okay – but, of course, he has fallen into his bad habits of over achievement.  The last three weekends working from Friday afternoon until Sunday morning from home on my kitchen table – the phone on speaker and Andrew and I trying to be as silent as possible  These guys doing this cabling work – sound like NASA engineers scheduling a lift off – but then I remember they are just nerdy IT guys.  I’ve had some pretty dark thoughts the last few weeks – mainly fantasizing the life of a widow.  Joking people joking.  Really.

Roughly ten days ago we took the iPad and any type of video games away from Andrew – we’ve seen marked improvement.  Me being the ever optimist is now wondering whether this is from being on Fall Break (all week) or the lack of anxiety brought on by the games.  Time will tell – next week when he goes back to school we will see how he does.

I’ve been really cooking some amazing things on my own without getting inspiration from a recipe.  I think I can be more creative in this kitchen- it’s just a thousand times nicer and it works so much better.

I tested a recipe for a friend’s book and had this wonderful red pepper sauce left over – I decided to take the red pepper sauce, add the ingredients for marinara – tomato sauce, garlic …set that sauce aside.  I had some pesto left over from my basil and I added that into some ricotta and set that aside.  I bought some fresh pasta sheets and started layering — sauce, pasta, cheese/pesto, Parmesan, mozzarella, and then repeating.  I was very worried about this -because Jim and I bought dislike red and green peppers.  It came out of the oven and I served it.  It was fantastic.  Jim said it was the best lasagna I ever made – Andrew loved it-and I enjoyed it – I’m not a pasta fan – but it was delicious.

Last night I played around and made a creamy chicken and rice soup – and it was the best soup of that variety I have ever made.

I am rambling.  I feel a little lost lately.  I have no tolerance for anyone that doesn’t share my last name and even then it is doubtful.

Time to make dinner…while computer techs provide the “noise pairing”.