The Cookbook Junkies

I’ve been neglectful in my goal to continue to bore the B-Jesus out of you all (all indicates many….perhaps it is too strong a word) who read this blog of mine.

I’ve been very busy lately – creating an organized table (30 pages long with 15 rows on each page) of each person’s name, address, act of kindness, mass card…who supported the Berry family during this time (see two previous posts). Sadly, we (they) cannot possibly send a thank you card to all the wonderful people who stood on line to pay their respects – that number was over 2000 – but they (we) do thank every single person who paid a visit, said a prayer or thought about them during this time.

I’ve also had orders for cookies, doing desserts for family gatherings and trying to clean this house…it would be so easy just to move. After next week’s order – my goal (again) is to de-clutter – go through Andrew’s clothes and books and then work on making my “baking” storage spaces upstairs and downstairs more organized and easy to use. I realized last week that I was not using my new microplane grater that I got six months ago – because I couldn’t get to it easy enough and I didn’t take it out of it’s packaging. How stupid is that? I opened that sucker up and I grated my carrots for my meatballs so quickly and easily – I slapped myself for not opening it sooner.

Andrew has been doing so so. Better with the anger and hitting. He’s having a hard time with the concept of Uncle George being gone. He also had strep and a sinus infection.

He is so smart that it boggles my mind. (The other day he said, “Mommy I could just eat you up – well not literally”. What five year old knows the meaning of literally? (Perhaps we explain too many things to him – but I’m counting on his genius to give me a lifestyle I want to be accustomed to – some day).

The things he knows and picks up on. We were watching a portion of Good Morning America because Sam Champion was doing a piece on swimming with the manatees. Andrew is so into manatees right now – but while I was getting it ready to DVR they did a spot on the Lacrosse player in Virginia who beat his girlfriend to death. Andrew said, “He hit her?” I said, “Yes, he hit her.” Andrew continued, “She died?” I said, “Yes, he hit her so many times she died. That is why mommy and daddy are so tough on you about hitting. We cannot hit people – we can hurt them and in some cases even kill them.” “Really?” He sat there for a few minutes. He came over to me and hugged me. “Mommy I promise I’ll never hit you again.” I know that he won’t be able to keep that promise – but I know and have a feeling he will really try hard and eventually he won’t ever hit me again.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful women out there who are mothers, will be mothers, take on roles of mothers and to my mother who has been dead now for a year and a half…I know you were mentally ill and didn’t mean to do the things you did and I hope you have finally found peace and are happy.

It has been such a hard eight days (see my previous post) since George died last Wednesday.

I have never seen so many people come to a wake in my life – well maybe a President’s or Elvis’. Easily two thousand people. The Knights did a service, the Priest did a service, the Fireman did their send off — all at the wake. The funeral director, one of George’s best friends, was talking to another one of George’s best friends (apparently George had many best friends)…and they were saying that people were going to start showing up to the church at 8 a.m. to get a seat – his funeral was at 9:45. The police allowed double parking for the family. The church was packed beyond capacity. It was a beautiful service and much to the Father’s dismay another of George’s friends sang his favorite song “What a Wonderful World”. There were over a dozen clergy there.

They closed off the Cross Island Parkway and Southern State to allow the funeral procession. We were dumbfounded.

George did much for the church, the community, his friends and family. He did much more than some of us ever knew.

It breaks my heart every time Andrew says these things “Uncle George, won’t be at Aunt Nora’s any more.” “I wish Uncle George was still here.” “Uncle George always yelled DON’T CRASH! DON’T CRASH! when I played my video games.” “I’ll send a kiss up to heaven.” “Will Uncle George still know who I am when I get to heaven?” “Will Uncle George still love me?” He came home tonight and went to the fridge where there is a picture of Uncle George holding him and kissed Uncle George. Breaks my heart.

Tuesday morning Andrew had his “Clean and Green” show at school – so adorable. We cried because it was sad knowing that George won’t be there for his First Communion, Confirmation, graduations…when they sang What a Wonderful World – I lost it. This video is of Andrew singing Baby Beluga with his group – of course he is the kid behind the microphone.

My husband’s sister, Nora, and her three children lost their husband and father yesterday. Very suddenly. He was Andrew’s uncle and Godfather. Andrew was very sad when I told him. He said, ‘let’s get over there and feel them better’ – that is not a typo. He always gives me a kiss to “feel me better”. After he had a tantrum because we couldn’t go over (Nora was headed to the funeral home) he wanted to call Aunt Nora but then froze on the phone. Later he said, let’s say a prayer for Uncle George and we said the Our Father and he came up the idea that he would share his daddy with his cousins. He asked me a few times “are you sure about Uncle George?” and unfortunately I had to say “yes”.

There are so many things you can say about George. He was a man of medicine, a great husband, wonderful father and a “there when you need him” friend and even when you didn’t think you needed him – he was there and you KNEW it.

George didn’t know this – no one but Jim knew this – but I wanted George to walk me down the aisle when I married Jim. Jim didn’t want anyone else’s feelings to get hurt (especially his brother) – so he thought it was best if I just didn’t ask. Odd even then I knew people felt safe around George and I would have felt safe being on his arm and not so alone as none of my family was there for me.

George was a good man and everyone loved him – his colleagues, friends. A good man who would do anything for anyone – like drive in from Kings Point into Long Island Jewish when my little boy (his godson and nephew) had to get stitches in his two year old head and I was beside myself, come to our house to listen to Andrew’s chest when I’d get worried, run the St. Gregory’s festival every year even with his exhausting work schedule, volunteered at the Knights, coach sports, worked hard to give his children the best of everything and be there for family and friends during good times and bad.

George was the Pediatric Trauma Coordinator at Long Island Jewish. He was a PA and if you can judge a man by the number of people at his bed as he lay dying…there wasn’t a better man. There must have been thirty people in tears at 8:57 a.m. when they stopped all measures – immediate family including Jim and I, doctors, nurses, hospital administrators. I know medical professionals work diligently to save every life – but this was above and beyond.

George was always the “hero” just like his father. Every time Jim and I went to Roosevelt Field we’d see Mr. & Mrs. Berry (George’s parents) there – one day a toddler got away from his mother – everyone there – it wasn’t very crowded – got involved looking – guess who came around the corner holding the child — Mr. Berry. At Andrew’s first birthday party and Elizabeth’s 21st (George’s eldest daughter) birthday party, one of our friend’s children who was 4 at the time was struggling at the bottom of the pool – who jumped in and saved her – George. It’s in the Berry blood. Help people.

We will miss you George. Rest in peace.