The Cookbook Junkies

This will be short and will be continued. It is so hard being your child’s defense attorney – even with your own family.

I started this post a while back when I had spent one of the worst evenings of my life and due to still feeling sick and general depression I’m just getting around to editing it.

After our CSE meeting on March 17th, Andrew was declassified. We were told he was a perfect child, had lots of friends and was the most typical child in the classroom and that there was no need for services or special education (I find this suspect).

Yes, we know he is smart. He has a 128 IQ. Our biggest concern is his social behavior.

We went to a birthday party a few weeks ago – at 5 p.m. – ideally not the best time for Andrew but his alleged “friends” from his class were going to be there. He spent the entire time crying, screaming, angry. His friends didn’t want them in their group. His friends allowed him sit on the mat being the last one picked. This behavior is not consistent with the school’s version of Andrew and how he interacts with peers.

We went through a spell right after that party where Andrew had been crying about no one liking him, having no friends, kids making fun of him, hating school and he wanted to die.

I have since resigned as a parent member of the Committee for Special Education (CSE)for many reasons. Foremost, those meetings take a lot out of me emotionally and due to budget cuts everyone has to fight for every scrap of service and I had no fight in me for anyone other than my son. Secondly, I had asked for five minutes with the school psychologist after Andrew said he wanted to die because no one likes him at school and she didn’t have five minutes after I spent the entire day sitting at their table as their parent member. I know childish – but I had enough. I think if a child who has a diagnosis says these things that perhaps the school psychologist should talk to him?? Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps I expect too much.

Since I started this post about six weeks ago, Andrew waxes and wanes. This week he has been very quiet and reserved, weepy and seems depressed. His regular psychologist says he seems hyper, sensory seeking and stemming a great deal. I know this will pass and we’ll go back to a more level ground. We always do.

Mother’s Day was very nice. We had a nice breakfast at church – Andrew and I both made a new friend and then we went out to my sister-in-law’s house for barbecue. It was fun – Andrew had a hard time but I managed to enjoy myself and resisted the urge to flee.

That’s all I have for now. Nothing brilliant, not earth moving…but an update.

Remember my last post….wherein I stated if I start commenting on how well Andrew is doing….

He is having a hard couple weeks. He’s flapping more. He’s angry – just really angry (his therapist told me that today) but tell me something I don’t know. He is just off. I can’t explain it – the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

Forget about talking to the school – I’m convinced that they have their heads buried in the sand. Every time I speak to his psychologist at school – she says, “could he have gotten that on youtube”? For pity’s sake, shut up about youtube already. I posted some school video on youtube for other kids parents – of a performance and now she thinks we’re all a bunch of youtube addicts. I wanted to say, “No, Dr. N he didn’t get that from youtube – he spends all his free time reading about Charlie Sheen’s tiger blood and how he too can get himself a couple goddesses.”

His outside therapist said he works so hard at trying to control his anger – no wonder he just looks empty at the end of the day. My baby.

I don’t have the heart to write anything more.