The Cookbook Junkies

I have no tolerance for anyone or anything except for those that live in my house and perhaps a few “chosen” others. 

I’m in pain, the lupus flare up is kicking my ass, besides Andrew issues, sinus infection and other things (finding doctors, dealing with insurance companies, errors by companies, etc.) – I’m no longer able to suffer anyone, especially fools.

Why do people have to have pissing contests?  If someone tells you what is going on with them – why must you add your list of ailments or wrong doings to the pot.  Just listen and shut up.  I’ve tried really hard to do that – but if someone asks me – what is wrong – and I tell them – and they shoot back their ailments- I want to scream – stir a big fucking dose of autism in that pot and then let me know how you are doing.  

I know.  I know.  Everyone has their right to be upset, scared, in pain — but it just drives me nuts when happy go lucky “Annabeth” (name changed to protect the stupid) starts a conversation with you – and says “you seem off is everything okay” – and you start mentioning your ailments or concerns and they come back at you like a Gatling gun with what I deem at that moment not to be as bad as my problem!  (I’m being silly here – but sometimes -it is true – Exhibit A below).

I had a neighbor that lived across the street from us in New York.  She would call and ask me to do things for her – rides, order her special shoes – and I always did it.  Even in the midst of chaos I would do it.  One day she called to ask how things were – this was right after Jim got the FAP diagnosis – (97 percent chance of colon cancer by age 50) and we were going to Johns Hopkins for a second opinion – I told her – to say a prayer. Do you know what she said to me?  “Pray for my poor Debra (her 50 year old daughter that lives in the basement – but is a normal, healthy adult that has a good job) sprained her ankle.”  Are you fucking joking?  “Jenny, can you order my shoes – Debra just doesn’t have time.”  Debra left the house at 7 am and returned home every day by 5.  Give me strength, Lord.  After all the things we did for this woman, she didn’t even call us – or walk across the street to say good bye to us.  Our other neighbors – Roseanne and Pete – and Paula and Tom – ordered pizza for us, kept dropping by – telling us how much they were going to miss us.  Kept things for us that wouldn’t fit in the truck – went out of their way.  But the person I did the most for – couldn’t even come over to say good bye – and you know what I was busy – I didn’t have time to run across the street and kiss her ass – my lips were busy kissing everyone else’s.  It just reminds me of the old “what have you done for me lately?” She knew I couldn’t help her anymore – so I was written off.

There is someone I know who is genuinely sweet – but every time there is any conversation I get the third degree.  I don’t want to answer your questions – if I had the answers I wouldn’t be moaning on a small, insignificant blog about everything and everyone.  If I want to tell you something I will.  You shooting questions at me doesn’t prove you love me – it proves that you haven’t figured me out yet.  Let me vent–and say “I’m here for you”.  Do not assault me with questions – please.  

I posted about how difficult it is to find a pediatric psychiatrist.  Well meaning people – googled and sent me a list of psychiatrists — don’t you think I could figure that one out myself?  I know I’m a bitch – but for Pete’s sake – I am a competent -albeit bitchy – woman.  Yes, I should practice what I preach – let it go – ignore it – just say thank you – but I can’t – I can’t.  I want to rage.  I can’t control incompetent companies who make errors and I have to make dozens of calls to correct them.  Let me be in control of my rage.  

I have tried lately to stop bitching about autism.  Autism does not define us.  It sucks – it is hard – but it is not my whole life.  I don’t love it – I don’t embrace it – I hate it.  All these posts on Facebook about how parents wouldn’t change their child with autism for anything.   I would change my child in a heartbeat – for him, not me.  I have a good kidney – only used on Saturdays for a frozen pouch of pina colada – take away the autism – it is yours.  Want a hardened, imperfect soul – it’s yours – comes with autism.  

I know there are worlds of hurt out there – I do not have it so awfully bad in the grand scheme of things but it feels good just to vent and rage and be the only one doing it for a minute.  If I tell you I had a bad day, don’t say “you think you have it bad…just wait until you hear this…”  — advice:  unless you were abducted by aliens and probed and shot back down to earth – don’t tell me that.

Applebee’s is one of our stops if we are out for the day.   I try to make almost every meal at home.  Most mornings, I cook a hot meal for Andrew and on the weekend – all three meals but occasionally we’ll go out for Chinese or Applebee’s.  We can always find something there we all like.

Food snobs – look away.  Jim is a very picky eater (no fish, veggies, fruit, onions, mushrooms — need I go on?).  I couldn’t go somewhere fancy if I wanted to – and truthfully – most places disappoint me.

The last three visits to Applebee’s (over the course of two months) – Jim and I ordered their Honey Pepper Chicken and Macaroni and Cheese.  It is really tasty — don’t judge.  But the third time – it was just okay – they are not being consistent.  I decided to re-create it at home and we all found that I did a better job than Applebee’s.

 Creamy Macaroni and Cheese

For this recipe I used one box of penne – I cooked it for three minutes less than the al dente instructions. I rinse the pasta when I use it for macaroni and cheese. It stops the cooking process and it just works better for me — it prevents the pasta from all morphing together.  Set aside the drained pasta as you make the sauce.  NOTE:  I always reserve a cup or two of starchy pasta water – just in case you need it to loosen up the sauce. To make the sauce:

4 tablespoons of butter

1/4 cup of flour

salt and pepper

dash of nutmeg

dash or two of ground mustard

dash or two of garlic or onion powder (your preference — or saute a 1/4 cup of onion and add to your roux – Jim doesn’t like onions – so I can’t do this)

1 cup of whole milk

1 cup of half and half

8 to 12 oz of shredded cheddar (or a combination of cheeses of your liking – I use cheddar, colby, parmesan and/or whatever else is on hand).

Make the roux with the butter and flour – add salt and pepper and fresh nutmeg (just a tiny amount). Cook this for a minute or two – until the flour is cooked.  Add the milk and half and half.  Whisk until combined. After the sauce thickens a bit – add the shredded cheese – stir until melted.

Add the drained pasta to the pot. It will look like too much liquid – don’t worry – it will set up. Transfer to a baking dish – or if your pot can transfer to the oven – save yourself a step.

I bake the mac and cheese uncovered for about 20 minutes at 350 —  so that the sauce thickens and everything looks golden brown and gooey.

Optional:   Applebee’s mac and cheese is a little bland – I would add some red pepper flakes, carmelized onions, etc. Please use your common sense when you are making the mac and cheese – you made need more milk or half and half or reserved starchy pasta water. Some Applebees have bacon in their dish now. When I first had this dish, there wasn’t bacon in my bowl. The second time I had it – it was horribly undercooked bacon – so you may of course add bacon to your finished dish.

Crispy Honey Peppered Chicken Strips

One pound boneless skinless chicken tenders, salt and peppered

First dredging container:

1 cup of flour seasoned with ¼ tsp. of lemon pepper and ¼ tsp. of salt

Second dredging container:

Two cups of buttermilk, salt and pepper

Third dredging container:

One cup of panko breadcrumbs

1/2 tsp of salt

1/2 tsp of lemon pepper

1 tsp of lemon zest

Dredge in flour mixture, then dredge in buttermilk, lastly dredge in panko mix.   Place tenders on wire rack inside of a sheet pan.  I let them set up about 20 minutes (can place back in fridge to fry later).

Heat a 1/2 cup or more of canola or vegetable oil (use your own judgment – if you need specifics – maybe just go order it at Applebee’s in a large nonstick skillet (or cast iron) until about 325 degrees.

Cook tenders in small batches –  until golden brown.  About two to three minutes on each side depending on thickness.  Allow to drain on another wire rack on top of a sheet pan as you finish up the tenders.  (I put a brown paper bag under the rack to catch any drippings).

 Honey Pepper Glaze

¼ cup of honey

1/8 to ¼  cup of chicken stock

Juice of the lemon that was zested above

Copious amounts (to your liking of black pepper)

A dash of salt

Place these four ingredients into a small sauce pan and bring to simmer – it should thicken up a bit.

Toss this glaze and the chicken tenders in a large stainless steel bowl to coat the tenders.

Serve as in the photo above – a serving of macaroni and cheese and a tender (or two) on top.  Add a little chopped chives or scallions and some crispy chopped up bacon – and there you have it.

Applebee’s version sometimes contains a little jalapeno – add that if you like.

There is something about that honey glaze as it seeps into the macaroni and cheese – just yummy.

Enjoy.