The Cookbook Junkies

Okay, so my husband goes to the doctor – who in turn sends him to the neurologist – and now he is suppose to have a carotid Doppler TODAY and schedule an MRI but says he has to reschedule because he has too much work – I swear if I have to find an estate attorney next week – I’ll kill him. I told him I will get the world’s best wiji board and séance kit and I will conjure him up every single day and nag him for all eternity. He thinks he will RIP – not a chance.

He said if I conjure him up – he’ll bring rowdy people back with him to scare me. I said you don’t know any rowdy dead people – when you get to heaven – your mom, sister, dad and aunt will slap you for not listening to your wife – and having your test – so you can see your son at least turn four. Men men men – I swear to God – I think lesbianism is looking pretty good.

I’ve been sick for over two weeks – severe bronchial infection, sinus infection, fever, chills, hell I probably even have a swollen prostrate 🙂 but I’ve managed to cook, clean, take care of a 3 1/2 year old, drive him to school, do errands and be human…although I did scream at the two teenaged idiots who were discussing which tanning bed facility is cheaper while I was waiting to buy my milk and onions at the Best Yet the other day.

Jim has had a runny nose off and on for two weeks – but the last 3 days have been bad – and he has basically been without signs of life. He had the nerve to tell me that I have no idea how sick he is – that I couldn’t imagine. When he has to have a C-section we’ll compare levels of pain and illness. He was in bed the entire day yesterday (except for church) but suddenly came to life as the Giants/Packers game kick off. (Yeah, Go Giants!)…men…you can’t live with them and you can’t kill them without going to jail.

I was saying “oh god…” because I was having chills and feeling so bad a little bit ago. Andrew says – “Why are you talking to Him (God)?” I said, “I’m asking God for help to make me feel better so I can be more fun for you.” Andrew says, “But God isn’t here – he’s at church.”

I told him God was everywhere. He is so funny.

We are the killer germ house. Germs come in and never go out.

Made steak pizzaiola and farfalle and will get some crusty bread for Jim. Made dinner every night but last night – not too bad for being on death row.

I make all these things I hate and eat a hollowed out pumpernickel bagel almost every night for dinner. Jim said I should just go in the closet turn around really fast and turn Chinese – because I only like Asian food…I said that isn’t true – I like Thai, Indian, Moroccan….anything different and with some good flavor.

Peace.