The Cookbook Junkies

He is insanely funny.

The other night – my weird husband says:

H: “Andrew who is your favorite girl at school?”

A: “huh?”

H: “who gets your blood pumping?”

A: “my blood pumping?”

H: “who gives you butterflies in your tummy?”

A: “butterflies??!!?”

H: “does anybody make any of your body parts feel funny?”

A: “my elbow hurts”.

We laughed so hard.

Today: He wants to go eat. I say, “wait one second I have to get a check for Miss Marie” (Miss Marie is the owner of Little Learners”. Andrew says, “why does Miss Marie get a check?” I said because tomorrow is her day to get paid. He says, “I better spread the word.” Where does he get this stuff? He’s 3 1/2 years old!

Then I help him with a puzzle piece and I said “Are you happy now?” He says, “Aye, aye my captain.” Good lord…it’s a laugh a minute here.

Without a doubt he has my sense of humor!

Since Thursday and the airing of Robot Monkey Hullabaloo starring my favorite monkey Curious George…Andrew has wanted to build a robot. So I started collecting Kleenex boxes, paper towel rolls, etc…Jim said my job was to distract him every time he mentioned building the robot as the thought of doing this frightened him more than marriage did all those years ago.

Sunday 3 p.m. there was no further distraction possible. Jim commenced the building of our robot. He got out boxes, tape, drills, etc. When it was semi-finished Andrew broke down in tears….Andrew what is wrong? my husband asked. (I knew the answer.)

“It….it….isn’t very beautiful…”. Jim didn’t know our 3 1/2 year old had such high standards. I put a stainless steel bowl on it’s head and told Andrew my plans for decorating it. We’re all taking a break and trying to recover from the less than beautiful robot….we’ll take another stab at it when we’re all fresh and the sting of disappointment isn’t so raw.

My husband is having a carotid doppler test on Thursday – he postponed from tonight – now he is complaining about how bad he feels….don’t even go there… did he get his prescription filled (I offered to do it)…no? Did he schedule his MRI? no. WTF?

If I have to find a new baby daddy – …. I’m too old for this shit.

Heath Ledger died, 28. Found dead with pills around him. What is it with celebrities? Why do they want to be a star and then they can’t handle it??? Is it the be careful what you wish for syndrome….I should be grateful I was never discovered – Lord knows I have the talent.

On a lighter note, apparently boinking a married photographer with a British accent – causes you to develop a British accent. Is there no end to the train wreck that is Britney Spears? I hope he got his money shot….but really there isn’t an inch of Britney we haven’t already seen in close up nonetheless. I would like to see a shot of her with her boys at the park without a cigarette, latte, Red Bull and a nanny or two.