The Cookbook Junkies

http://www.merlinsmiracles.com/index.html

I’ve been sad lately. Andrew has been so full of anxiety, so much flapping, and running in circles. Every time I speak to his psychologist or teacher at school – I get even more depressed. They all say he will be okay – but it is hard now.

My husband, a good man, says things like “how do we put up with this for the next ___ years” – and it breaks my heart – “put up with”? How dare he say that? Madeleine McCann’s parents would give their kidneys to put up with Madeleine for even one more day. Dear God, I can barely function with all of this. I know it sounds as if I’m a wimp – but I’m not – I fight like a dog for my son. I’m his mother, coach, teacher, protector, and lawyer – even defending him to his own father but God I’m tired. I’ll rest when I’m dead.

Friday the 9th, Andrew has surgery. We had the blood work and the pre-op and that was stressful enough. Andrew has a total nervous breakdown anytime we go near a doctor’s office. Extreme anxiety. Friday will be bad getting him to the hospital and inside. It is just an adenoidectomy for Christ’s sake – but for Andrew – it might as well be sending him to the electric chair. He will be a mess and I will be a rock while my heart breaks for him again.

Last week Andrew was sick and only went to school one day and this week is vacation week for schools around here (Passover) and I’m exhausted. I love my son but he is super high maintenance and I’m making myself crazy with every play date, activity, invitation, etc. Will Andrew hit someone? Will he eventually stop screaming that he wants to be first? Will he stop folding his arms and saying go away to everyone? Will he tell me repeatedly “you are not the best mommy in the world”? Will he tell me “I love you forever mommy and I don’t want anyone else ever ever ever”? Will he stop asking for “something round” for dinner (cookie, pancake :-)).
Will he stop trying to beat the crap out of his huge brother? Oh dear God….when when when will it get better. Then the poor guy breaks down in tears asking for a friend that we haven’t seen for months. Then he flaps and runs in circles because he is so wired and my heart breaks.

I’m so exhausted from stress that I just want to not leave the house. I’m thinking I’ll sign up for peapod delivery service and I won’t even have to go to the store.

Time to collapse into a coma.

By the way, I’m still fighting those damn birds. I’m looking forward to winter. I want to move to a non-bird country.

This just in Star Jones files for divorce….who won that pool?