The Cookbook Junkies

How depressing and exciting all at the same time!

Thanks Ankit – only had to beg for a few minutes!

Tell your friends…about my blog – where else can you get your daily dose of white trash all in one place????

You should see me leaving my house now – if Wife (see Exhibit A entry) is home – I do a criss cross pattern – on Two and a Half Men…Jon Cryer’s character (I think) was involved with a less than sane woman and he did the bob and weave pattern across the room when he thinks she has a gun – it was very funny and I will see if I can find the clip. I figure if Wife is drinking and I’m a moving, bobbing target – my chances are better.

Can you hear the Green Acres theme music playing in the background???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4

I’m documenting this drama here — in case I end up swimming with the fishes…..

Husband and Wife are getting a divorce – unfortunately our next door neighbors (why couldn’t this shit be down the street.)

Husband is a nice guy (strange but a nice guy — who isn’t strange? me included).
Wife is unbalanced – always has been.

Wife had an affair. She announced she wanted a divorce after a family trip to DR. For four years since she started working (her choice because she had to get away from everyone) – she was seldom home.

After the divorce proceedings she decided she wanted custody of Son (10) and the house. Husband is wealthy.

She started lying – Husband was gay (not), Husband was a pedophile abusing their son (not – why would she go away for 4 days every weekend if her child was being molested??), and take two vacations away from the family by herself??? plus – Jim and I both trust Husband one hundred percent with our child…he is not a molester).

Wife hates me because we are on husband’s side. I sent him an e-mail (as he requested) about the gate being left open – they have a pool and I added about the noise happening after 8:30 at night from the swimming pool (we were promised that after dark – no swimming parties etc. when they put the pool in). Well, unbeknownst to me, Wife and Husband took that as she wasn’t out there monitoring two ten year old boys in the pool after dark (Husband was happy about that – more evidence). – That was not my intent – it was to please stop the screaming at my five year old child’s bedroom window. I don’t care if kids play outside after dark – but it is NOT necessary to scream repeatedly – it’s not – it’s common decency and respect. And truth to be told, I don’t care if someone drowns in their damn pool – my responsibility is to my family first and if I see a kid drowning or struggling of course I would help – but I am not Oprah. I cannot raise a Village of children.

She then got crazier – calling me names – etc. So then I got mad and realized she was even more crazy than I originally thought. On December 11th – I sent husband an e-mail (hoping he was in the neighborhood so he could come and witness this and get a coat on his son) that Son and son’s friend were outside in the 27 degree weather from 9 pm until 10:45 p.m. with no coat – this was the day they were telling the homeless to get off the street because of the winds and cold — our son was at Aunt Flo’s house having a sleepover – first and only sleepover he has had — so it wasn’t that I was worried about noise – I was ironing and cleaning – I was concerned about the boys’ safety.

She saw this e-mail – because while Husband was away with Son and Wife’s daughter and Wife’s daughter’s boyfriend – Wife had her boyfriend break into Husband’s bedroom office and she stole bonds and went through his paperwork etc. Bryan (my son) and Jim had to install a new door and lock because of this event. Yes, Husband locks his bedroom/office – to protect his information and himself at night. Wife locks the upstairs bathroom because she doesn’t want anyone using it but her. Neither one will leave the house – I.N.S.A.N.I.T.Y.

SOOOO….

Sunday comes along and Husband wants to drive with Wife’s daughter to take the boyfriend back to school in Rhode Island (to make sure she is safe – winter weather – first time driving that distance etc.). He wanted to leave at 3 – but it was Wife’s night with Son – and she doesn’t get home until 4:30 (although while Husband was on vacation with the kids – she was home every day at 3:30). Anyway, Husband tried to switch days asking for Son on Sunday night – Wife said no. Husband wanted Son to stay with me until Wife came home. …Son wanted to stay here too – he didn’t want to go to Wife’s sister…etc.

Let it be clear that while Son was here – he said repeatedly he wanted his mother dead – Jim and I repeatedly told him to not talk this way about his mother – that she deserves his respect and love and that all this is temporary.

At 4:15 Son’s phone rings – it’s Wife – she asked if he was at Mike’s (Husband’s friend) – Son said, “no mom Mike wasn’t home so I’m at Jenny’s”. Five minutes later she is banging on my door. I open the door and said Son will be right out –she screamed ‘I’ll stay out here’ (I thought of course you will crazy woman because I’m not inviting you in”.

Less than 5 minutes later, someone is knocking on my door – I open the door thinking it is Son (he forgot something maybe) and it’s her. She is screaming at the top of her lungs – “KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY SON – how dare you question my parenting skills. God bless you and your family and pick your friends carefully.”

I go outside – and try to talk to her – she is hysterical – cussing, flinging her arms (neighbors across the street are watching at the window) – she said stuff about our autistic son – and that Husband says horrible things about our son and the sign in front of our house…(Autistic Child Area). She is whacked out. She tells us Husband talked about us all the time – etc. All the while – I’m thinking who the fuck cares – everyone talks about everyone. And truth be told – they could both disappear into the horizon and I wouldn’t care.

Jim comes out and gets in her face and tells her to get off our lawn – they are screaming – Son is crying in the window – Andrew is on the porch screaming. I get Jim to go in after five minutes and I have it out with her. I ended up making peace because I fear for her son and my son. She smelled of vodka – she’s an alcoholic and pill popper. Towards the end of this – Son comes out and is crying and says, “Mom you can yell at me and scream at me but stop lying – you called Jenny a bitch and my dad an asshole and you say mean things about them.” And he went back into the house. He came out to defend me. Even then – even then – I yell after Son “it’s okay _____ people say and do crazy things when they are upset”. I told Wife to go in the house and take care of her son and to start acting sane.

Then she puts out her hand and hugs me.

She said she would never yell or hurt Andrew – I said “____ – you just did. You hurt Andrew and your own son — he’s terrified – do you think this display is good for anyone?”

Anyway, Husband had an appointment with the forensic evaluator yesterday because Wife had requested this months ago – due to her allegations of Husband being unfit….and now the evaluator is going to call me – and while I will tell the truth – I am fearful that she will try to hurt us – her boyfriend is a retired cop – she has access to a gun – my neighbor across the street was terrified when this was going on….so it’s not my imagination – I’ve been sick about this. BTW, spoke to Husband at length this a.m. – he agrees Wife could snap even further – to not do anything – wait and see if evaluator calls…but if I do testify to get a restraining order against her – because she will flip. Jim thinks I’m over-reacting Husband and Wife’s Daughter think I’m right on the money. Jim thinks Wife doesn’t have a history of shooting people — did Amy Fisher have a history of shooting housewives? Did O.J. have a history of bludgeoning to death ex-wives and boyfriends? I say nay nay! (To quote John Pinette got to throw a little humor in here.)

Even though Wife’s elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top and Husband has his issues – why can’t they just stop lying and fighting and do what is best for the child. Money makes people do crazy fucking things. I’m glad we don’t have any.

Happy New Year and if Lifetime wants to make this into a movie – I get the damn money from it.

My facebook status today: Still sick to my stomach about yesterday’s ugliness – sad that people can be so nasty and evil and sad that what my father always told me seems true….given the chance people will disappoint you so don’t trust anyone.

Will update later.